The autumn half term holidays are a hazard to parents across the UK; the weather is looking a bit grim for a trip to the beach or a picnic, and those giant inflatable warehouses are painful on the eyes, ears and wallet. So this autumn, encouraged by numerous articles expounding the supposedly most haunted places to visit in Greater Manchester, I took my teenager for a day trip to the metropolis formerly known as Granadaland.
Ordsall Hall
First up was Ordsall Hall, nestled a stone’s throw from the city centre. As the oldest building in Salford, dating back to 1177, the hall seemed a likely spot for a spooky encounter, and indeed its website boasts of three ghosts: The White Lady, reputed to be the spirit of Tudor Lady Margaret Radclyffe; juvenile spook Cecily, whose presence is indicated by the scent of roses; and Sir John Radclyffe, who lives in the Star Chamber and is a bottom-pinching sex pest to female visitors. We were quite startled to enter one room and find a strong floral smell. I initially speculated that it might be their chosen cleaning product, but further investigation suggested an even more direct reason: bowls of drying rose petals!
The hall, operated by Salford Community Leisure, was a pleasant change from the sometimes stuffy approach familiar to those visiting National Trust properties. Two glass panels revealed the interior of the old walls and the rafters, and there were numerous interactive, educational and informative displays with smells, sounds, and even a small art gallery, which we were told was the site of several spooky encounters for one volunteer at the property.
We left delighted and informed, but surprising smells aside, not haunted.
- Teenager evaluation: “The staff were really friendly and it had really pretty architecture.”
- Spooky rating: 3/10
- Visit rating: 9/10
St Ann’s Church
We then made the short drive to Manchester city centre and two religious sites of haunted repute.
First up (after an important lunchtime pit-stop for Thai food) was St Ann’s Church, in the picturesque St Ann’s Square. The inside of the church was wholly unremarkable, aside from a free hour-long organ recital, but the real appeal is outside of the church, at the rear by the table tombs, where legend holds that if you walk around them three times anticlockwise – or “widdershins”, and then put your ear to the tomb, you can hear the dead talk. We both tried, and we both heard nothing beyond the general light rumble of the city centre.
- Teenager evaluation: “Big pic of King Charles at the door, what an icon. I liked the intricate stained glass windows. The best bit was going around the grave. There were some rubbish roadmen watching us from afar.”
- Spooky rating: 2/10
- Visit rating: 3/10
Manchester Cathedral
The city centre took a further knock from our visit to Manchester Cathedral, the walk to which involved a tantalising stroll past the iconic Sinclair’s Oyster Bar. The Cathedral has two ghost legends: the sighting by a worshipper of his sister, who unbeknown to him had died that same time miles away; and a giant demonic dog called Black Shuck. Thankfully nobody we know personally passed away during our visit, so the first option was out, and Black Shuck was apparently exorcised some years back, which possibly explains the absence of the sinister hell-hound.
The 600-year-old Cathedral itself was renovated in Victorian times, then extensively restored after the Manchester Blitz in 1940, and further damaged in the 1996 IRA bomb. Like St Ann’s Church, the Cathedral was also engaged in organ-based business when we visited, but rather than a pleasant recital there seemed to be some kind of ear-splitting tinnitus-like sound test taking place, so we did not linger.
- Teenager evaluation: “Kind of boring, kind of basic, kind of ugly. Didn’t even have actual pews, just like year 4 classroom seats. The stained glass windows are better from the outside.”
- Spooky rating: 0/10
- Visit rating: 1/10
Boggart Hole Clough
A change was needed, so we ventured north to Boggart Hole Clough, an impressive urban park in Blackley. As the name suggests, the park is reputed to be home to the boggart, a malevolent creature from English folklore that in the North West is said to “live outdoors, in marshland, holes in the ground, under bridges and on dangerous sharp bends on roads.”
We stopped at the apocalyptically uninviting visitors centre car park and went boggart-hunting, and although our trip over bridges, up snaking stairs, through woods and over fields did not yield a single mischievous monster, the often-grey Manchester light was beginning to fade and the cries of birds created quite an ambience for our walk.
- Teenager evaluation: “The crows were quite spooky and the bridges and muddy holes… the overall atmosphere made me feel quite uneasy.”
- Spooky rating: 5/10
- Visit rating: 7/10
Ring O’Bells
The final destination was the lovely Ring O’Bells pub in nearby Middleton. Apparently built on a former druid temple, there’s been a pub on the site – at the top of a hill and adjacent to St Leonard’s parish church – since the 12th Century.
Over the last 900 years, it is said to have been the location of a civil war massacre and the home of Sweeney-Todd-esque serial killer landlords in the 1600s. Thankfully the current bar staff seemed entirely benevolent – children even welcome until 7pm! – and although there was a strange display of ornamental sticks on the ceiling, and curious photographs of ancient scout troops on the walls, we found no sign of any of the numerous ghostly legends in our short stop before home-time.
- Teenager evaluation: “It’s a friendly pub.”
- Spooky rating: 2/10
- Visit rating: 9/10
Overall impression
Would my young accomplice recommend a trip to Manchester for a spooky half-term ghost hunt overall?
It seems a bit unfair on Manchester to judge it on that basis, since ghosts don’t exist. But we had a fun day.
From a teenager, that’s high praise indeed.
