This article originally appeared in The Skeptic, Volume 17, Issue 1, from 2004.
Did you realise that computers, mobile phones, televisions and other electrical devices all create alternating fields of magnetic energy that upset your brain and nervous system and destabilise your electromagnetic field? Of course, this may not immediately have any effect on your body but over a period of time, particularly when your bioelectric aura is weakened from stress and nutritional deficiencies, believe me, my sceptical friend, you are in BIG trouble.
What happens, you see, is that these nasty energies enter the body through your acupuncture points and “flow through your piezo-electric connective tissue” to have a distinctly adverse effect on every cell of your body. Personally, I was ignorant of all this until I, thankfully, happened upon the web pages of the BioEnergy Fields Foundation. I’m glad I have never had acupuncture treatment because, presumably, the evil energies would penetrate more easily through the little holes.
Fortunately, I now know that if I can keep my biovibration field in good nick – i.e. coherent and having a full frequency spectrum – then it will effectively block all this electromagnetic contamination and, all importantly, will not “transact with the anticoherent pool of environmental fields”. And believe me, there is nothing worse than an embarrassingly transactional, anticoherent biofield!
But, as Cherie Blair well knows, help is at hand through a large range of hi-tech but aesthetically pleasing devices available from prices ranging from under £30 to almost £2, 000. For instance, the Bioelectric Shield will act as an “energy balancer and energetic ‘mirror,’ reinforcing your body’s natural energy field while also helping you cope with the energy overload and stress of daily life”. This involves the careful arrangement of precision-cut quartz crystals and other minerals to stabilize your energy field.
Although ‘several systematic programs of kinesiological and meridian testing have confirmed a 100% – 400% boost in measures of energetic well-being’ in users of this device, if, like me you have a PDA, a mobile telephone, a laptop, and live in a house with mains electricity, the Bioelectric Shield may not be sufficient. In fact you may have to go to a higher level of spirituality to get the protection that you need.
The Wheel of Life medallion is “possibly the most powerful source of usable healing life energy available. There is no electrical circuitry, no magnets, simply metal and precious stones. It uses sacred geometry to create a flow of life force energy that can protect and heal.” Furthermore, as far as the stresses on the immune system caused by electromagnetic energies are concerned, “exhaustive tests with kinesiology, biofeedback machines, and kirlian photography show that 90% of these stresses are countered by the forces operating within the Wheel of Life”.
The only problem with the Wheel of Life might be the invocation regularly needed to activate it. I’m sure that I could explain away the fact that I was wearing an attractive crystal pendant to my academic colleagues as a whim of fashion, but standing in my laboratory chanting (three times) “I invoke the Light of God within. I am a clear and perfect channel. Light is my Guide” could make some problems for me – although it might be easier for colleagues involved in photonics research.
So it looks as though the device for me will have to be the Teslar watch, which has the advantage of being discreet (just a normal-looking wristwatch, with a number of different designs). It is also an active device which oscillates between 7 and 9 Hz, with an average of about 8 Hz which is apparently close to the Schumann Resonance, “the magnetic field resonance that the earth emits”. This miracle of microelectronics collapses the fields due to the electronics of the watch itself and these collapsed fields cancel out “the harmful ‘static’ caused by Electromagnetic Fields (EMF) and Extremely Low Frequencies (ELF), which has been demonstrated by EAV testing and Fast Fourier EEG analysis”. Sounds good to me.
So I will finish here and head into town to see if I can find a Teslar watch anywhere on the high street. This will then put me in exactly the right frame of mind to go back to my hi-fi dealer and follow the advice in the back of the manual that came with a hi-fi amp that I have recently bought. It suggests that it is possible to obtain improved performance of the amplifier by substituting the provided mains cable with a specially developed high quality alternative. This allows “the component’s power transformer to draw current more easily from the mains supply and enhances its overall performance”. I wonder if there is an accompanying invocation?